Soaring Above Co-Addiction Helping your Loved One Get Clean, While Creating the Life of Your Dreams

This was a very great book that gave you insight to what an addict lover goes through. I thought it was very good. It was told from the perspective of a woman who is married to an addict and is still with him to this day and how she supported him. It gave practical tips on how to recover from the grips of co-addiction and how to create a better life. I would recommend it to anyone who is in an relationship with an addict.

Understanding the 12 Steps an Interpretation and Guide for Recovering People

I read this for the sole purpose of research. I really enjoyed this book because it explained the 12 steps in deeper detail. It help me to understand the mind of the addict by providing tips and real life stories. It even had exercises to try.
     Before it talked about the 12 steps and what you had to do to work through the steps it had a couple chapters on what a 12 steps program was, the approach, and what happens at 12 step meetings. I would recommend this to all recovering addicts and anyone who wants to know more about what an addict goes through by working the steps.

Addictive Thinking Understanding Self-Deception

Addicts often experience low self-esteem, feel incompetent, feel worthless, have inferiority, inability to use will, have delusions of grandeur, have lots of anger, are always right, life is unfair, self-centered, self-righteous, can be jealous, hypercritical, obnoxious, inconsiderate, feel cheated, and expect to be put down, criticized, and rejected. Often time’s addicts believe that disaster is inevitable and they can sabotage themselves.

       Often times an addict may suffer from a mental illness too. What may be normal to a person that is a non-mentally ill may be viewed different for someone who is mentally ill. They have irrational thinking and can often reject rational arguments. They also have a different concept of time, they don't want a delay, and the concept of the future doesn't apply. Since their thinking is distorted they take drugs to feel justified and complete. Addicts are like people who get sunburned , they can be withdrawn, clingy, possessive, provocative, don't often believe in God because they feel they are God and experience omnipotence which is the feeling of having unlimited power.
        Denial, rationalization, and projection are the 3 most common traits seen among addicts. Denial is not lying necessarily because lying is conscious while denial is unconscious or willful so often they don't know they are doing it because of the irrational thinking. Rationalization means they have good reasons instead of true reasons, divert attention from the truth, and preserve the status quo which it's often why addicts don't think they have a problem. Projection is placing the blame on someone else.
        They can feel guilt and no shame. Guilt is what they have done; shame is who they are which can lead to corrective action. Guilt can be undone by making amends but amends can't change defective material that they feel they are made of. This can be helped by support from counseling; people who have had similar experiences, and people they care about. They can feel futile to change, don't want to be powerless, must believe they are adequate person, but can become a constructive person if they have they love and support from their family. This will add color to their life.

The 3 C's for an Addict's Family

• You didn't cause it
• You cannot control it
• You cannot cure it

Beat Your Addiction a Complete Program for Overcoming Your Addiction

I read this book for research purposes only. This book was very interesting. It was a self help book mostly but I still learned some stuff about drug addiction and other addictions too. Each chapter it explained and simplified the 12 steps. It gave tips and exercises to try per chapter. It was really good and I would recommend it to anyone who wants help getting over any addiction.

Beautiful Boy a Father's Journey Through His Son's Addiction

This book was a true story about the struggles that a father went through when his son was addicted to drugs and alcohol. I really enjoyed this book because it really gave you insight to what an addict goes through and how it affects their family. He ran away a lot and did whatever it would take to get high. He was in and out of treatment programs and finally found one that worked. His dad had constant worry and went to therapy. His dad also had a hemorrhage caused by stress of the trauma of addiction. This is a hard issue for anyone to go through. This is a great read for anyone who wants to find out more about addiction.

Flawless

This is the second book in the Pretty Little Liars series. It was ok. I liked how it followed the TV show to a ti almost. Even though it was very similar to the show I found some of it interesting because there were parts that weren't in the show. But I guess I didn't like it as much because of the show and I kept thinking back to who A is because I know that now.
     They book takes place 3 years later the beginning of their freshman year. Spenser wants to be with Wren. Hanna is concerned about her fat days, and her dad comes back into town. Aria is struggling with the fact that the guy she made out with is her high school English teacher, and her dad is cheating on her mom. Emily is trying to figure out if she is gay. They all go to Foxy. They are trying to deal with funeral of Ali after the cops found her body behind her house. They are also trying to figure out who A is. The think that Toby is A but find out in the end it's way more than that.

The 12 Steps and the 12 Traditions of A.A

 I read this book for the sole purpose of research. I found this book to be very insightful to the thought process of someone who is addicted to alcohol. A.A was created in 1935 by Dr. Bob and Bill W. The first text for the group was published in 1939. In 1950 they had a conference and in 2009 A.A was in over 180 countries.
     The 12 Steps are critical to the recovery of the addict.
      Step 1 We admitted we were powerless over alcohol and our lives have become unmanageable. This is the step when the user admits complete defeat and humiliation. They realize that their disease is a mental obsession and a physical allergy. They have to admit hopelessness, desire happiness and purpose, need self confidence, become open-minded, and have a willingness to listen. This often leads to revolt. But this is the first step toward liberation and strength.
       Step 2 We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. The user thought they were better than everyone else, have defied God blaming Him for not having the good things in life, and felt deserted. This is the step where a journey and a transformation has to happen for the user to continue on to the next steps. They must experience true humility, honesty, tolerance, ambition, be hard working, show fairness, and decency. They must take stock of themselves, make amends, and freely give.
      Step 3 Made a decision to turn over our will over to the care of God as we understood Him. Action equals cutting away the self that blocked God. The most important things in this step are willingness and will power. The dependence on God leads to a true independence. The user must try to find someone they can depend on.
     Step 4 Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. Instincts are necessary for the human existence; procreation, social companionship, emotional security, but too much can lead to domination or revulsion; which is unhealthy. This is a subtle, dominating, rule of power. The user experiences self-loathing, guilt, resentment, blame, unwanted pride, self-pity, fear, and disturbances. They often ask themselves how did my personality change when I was using? What type of coping skills did I use? Great assets can turn into habits and they discover who they are.
      Step 5 Admitted to God, to ourselves, and another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. The user doesn't like to talk, experience a high degree of loneliness, and have a feeling of non-belonging. But they can be forgiven. This is made possible by accepting defeats, being honest, taking advice, holding back nothing, and accepting direction. By knowing who they are they attempt to become who they desire. The road to straight thinking creates a honest and genuine humility. The hardest thing in this step is finding someone who they can confide in.
      Step 6 Were tiredly ready to have God remove all these defects of character. This is when the user grows in the image and likeness in God. They want to remove the mania, come to grips with the most horrible defeats, desire self-preservation, and want to discover God's will for them. Delay is dangerous, rebellion can be fatal, but don't give up, beware of the 7 deadly sins, and aim to perfection. The difference is between being a boy/girl to becoming a man/woman.
      Step 7 Humbly ask Him to remove our shortcomings. They drank into oblivion and it was never enough. They never thought that being honest, having tolerance, and true love for man and God could be the basis of living. They must consider what humility is and the benefits are. "True humility" is

•  Submitting that God is the legitimate authority
• Recognizing virtues and talents that others possess, giving due honor and obedience
• Recognizing the limits of one's talents, ability, or authority; and, not reaching for what is beyond one's grasp

"False humility" is deprecating one's own sanctity, gifts, talents, and accomplishments for the sake of receiving praise from others. This involves the courage to summon their faith when symptoms arise. Shaping one's own destiny is possible if done right with God's purpose. Gaining a new perspective can help them get something they really wanted rather than something they MUST have.
      Step 8 Make a list of all persons we have harmed, and become willing to make amends to them all. This step involves repairing, cleaning away the past, and opening old wounds. Forgiveness, peace, partnership, and brotherhood is key. They must mend what they can, avoid extreme judgement, and this must be received on both sides. This really begins the end of isolation.
      Step 9 Make direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. This step involves good discretion, great timing, courage, and prudence. Prudence is learning from experience and having an open mind. The user needs to make sure that they are completely ready, take responsibility for the welfare others, try not to evade the issue at hand, and make sure their loved ones know they are serious. Seeking authority, being quick witted, having the ability to discipline, and seeing ahead to the possibility of a positive future is key.
      Step 10 Continue to take personal inventory and when we are wrong promptly admit it. The learning and growing process continues. Self-searching will become a habit, admit and accept what they find, and persistently try to correct this wrong. Look for progress not perfection, practice self-restraint, have a honest analysis of what's involved, display a willingness to admit when it's their fault, and the equal willingness to forgive. The user can't act in good purpose until self-restraint is automatic. Know their true motives, having gratitude, displaying kindness, having courtesy, and not making unreasonable demands is key. Trying for a better tomorrow and searching their heart with no fear or favor is the goal.
       Step 11 Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. Prayer and meditation is a direct link to God. This gives peace, love, harmony, forgiveness, truth, hope, joy, comfort, and understanding. Constructive imagination brings emotional balance, peace of mind, wisdom, and strength.
       Step 12 Having a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, We tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs. The joy of living, giving, helping others, giving advice, demonstrating faith, having leadership, freeing ambition, and walking humbly with God is key. This leads to being well grounded, realizing that they don't need to dominate to gain importance and they don't need to seek fame and honor to be praised. With the right attitudes and the right action is the key to good living.
     
The 12 Traditions

1. Our common welfare should come 1st; personal recovery depends upon A.A unity.
    Unity is most important, they are a small part of a whole, no personal sacrifice is too great, and they can have freedom but they have to work as a group.
2. For our group purpose there is 1 ultimate authority, a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience our leaders are but trusted servants; they don't govern. There is no one person that governs the A.A.
3. The only requirement of A.A is the desire to stop drinking. The ability to be free to choose to go to group or not.
4. Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or A.A as a whole. The whole group can't be threatened.
5. Each group has 1 primary purpose to carry it's message to the alcoholic who still suffers. The message of A.A must be passed to other alcoholics and they should help any way we can.
6. An A.A group ought to never endorse,finance, or lend the A.A name to lest problems of money, property, or prestige divert us from our primary purpose. 
7. Every A.A group ought to be full self-supporting declining outside contributions. 
8. A.A should remain forever non-professional but our service centers may employ special workers. 
9. A.A, as such ought, never be
 organized but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible for those we serve. 
   They must be avoid the dangers of too much wealth, prestige, and entrenched power to tempt them.
10.  A.A has no opinion on outside issues; hence the name shall never be drawn into public controversy. 
  They must remain neutral.
11. Our public relations is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of the press, radio, and film.
  Personal ambition has no place and they must act as a guardian.
12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities. They must make sacrifices and have a high confidence in their future.